Counting My Blessings....

I suppose it's so much easier to be grateful and at peace in hindsight.  In fact, from the future, everything seems so clear and so complete.

But I thank God that I am getting constant reminders of just how blessed I am and just how fortunate I am to have the family that I do.

I had a student stop by my office this week to see pictures of Hope.  She is younger than I and ended up having to have a hysterectomy last semester due to problems with cysts and tumors.  Now she is simply hopeful that they will one day be able to adopt.

Two of the blogs I follow lost their babies on the same day - at 16 and 18 weeks.  My heart aches for them and the little ones they delivered far too soon.

I still read and keep up with many of the blogs in the Pregnancy Loss community and my heart aches for so many of them.  And I wonder: how did I get so lucky?  Why am I the one who was able to have not one, but two beautiful, healthy, perfect little girls?  And I feel ashamed for being so upset when I only had one and couldn't successfully carry a second.  I feel small and silly for complaining when I have so much more than so many others.

But I think that's why God puts the people into our life that He does.  He wants us to remember and to think about our blessings and everything we've been given.  And I'll tell you - even on the most exasperating and frustrating day, I force myself to remember that I begged for these children and that I adore them.  And all of a sudden, nothing matters so terribly anymore.  I hold a screaming child and know that it won't last forever.  My four year old throws a fit and I bite my tongue because she's just so smart and wonderful.

I am blessed...beyond what I deserve...and I am so very very thankful.