In the big picture - absolutely everything is wonderful. But I'm a bit frustrated and this is my venting place.
I have done an EXCELLENT job of becoming more active and working on what I eat...but summer has been harder. Being home with the kids all day, I'm not on the regimented schedule I was with work. I find myself eating my stress and feelings. And while I'm trying to make better choices as I eat my feelings, it's still not the best situation.
In good news, I'm down to an XL or even L on tops (I had a BALL shopping for comfy clothes at Old Navy and being able to buy XL - which were big and roomy!). I bought L bottoms and XL bottoms and mostly 16's - again, still a really good step from being at a 22 not all that long ago.
My weight is a bit frustrating. I finally mustered up the courage to check ye olde scale yesterday and found myself at 213.5. If you'll remember, I was at 214 when we last spoke weeks ago.
I know it's just a number. I know that I'm jogging now and doing more step aerobics and boxing (on my Wii) and I'm now biking with the girls in the trailer. I know I'm on the right track.
BUT
It sucks to see a half pound loss in weeks and weeks.
Not that I'm giving up. I'm on the right track and, believe it or not, I actually AM big boned. I know that most people say that is a myth, but I've had not one, but seven doctors say that to me (in general conversation - I've never asked). Apparently, thanks to my stocky German heritage, awesome calcium intake, and inability to break bones (never broken anything on accident - only broken bones were intentional during surgery) means that I have huge and dense bones. A good thing overall.
But I still wish the scale was nicer to me.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Monday, June 25, 2012
Updates on Katie and Hope
Let's start with the good stuff...
Hope, like most babies, has abs like you would not believe. She can bend in half. She can suck on her toes. She can do downward dog and plank position and cobra like you wouldn't believe. Right now, she's mobile, but not always consistent. Sometimes it's backward; sometimes a forward army crawl; sometimes rolling - but she is mobile. And VERY happy about it.
Now, with Katie...it's been a tragic week.
During the summer, we go to the pool every day - unless weather really doesn't permit. There are fun activities, people to play with, it's cool - all around a good situation.
Well, on the restroom door, there's a sign about "Tommy" the CPR doll. It tells you that if you ever see this child, Tommy, on the floor of the pool to leave it alone. It's all about training the lifeguards and making them aware.
I've never encountered Tommy before, but think it's a good idea. Unfortunately, the 18-20 year old manager did not really approach it the best way. He's a good guy - I usually like him, but he's young and doesn't understand.
He walked around all three pools several times having "Tommy" wave and say hi to the lifeguards. It was all joking and silly and cute. But then...Tommy went down the waterslide. Air horns blew. Whistles blew. Lifeguards came running from all directions.
Tommy was quickly rescued and given CPR.
Katie, however, has not recovered from seeing this.
She wanted to leave within the hour. I honestly didn't think anything about it because it was almost a hundred degrees and I figured she was hot and tired.
Swim lessons on Wednesday - all out screaming. Thursday - same. Friday - same.
Unfortunately, as we arrived at the school on Friday for swim lessons, the paramedics and fire trucks showed up to take out a little boy who had been injured at swim lessons.
In all, it's been a terrifying week - for Katie and Mommy. Just the thought makes me sick to my stomach. But swimming is such an important skill to me - we will work through this. Slowly - throughout the summer.
But what a bummer.
Hope, like most babies, has abs like you would not believe. She can bend in half. She can suck on her toes. She can do downward dog and plank position and cobra like you wouldn't believe. Right now, she's mobile, but not always consistent. Sometimes it's backward; sometimes a forward army crawl; sometimes rolling - but she is mobile. And VERY happy about it.
Now, with Katie...it's been a tragic week.
During the summer, we go to the pool every day - unless weather really doesn't permit. There are fun activities, people to play with, it's cool - all around a good situation.
Well, on the restroom door, there's a sign about "Tommy" the CPR doll. It tells you that if you ever see this child, Tommy, on the floor of the pool to leave it alone. It's all about training the lifeguards and making them aware.
I've never encountered Tommy before, but think it's a good idea. Unfortunately, the 18-20 year old manager did not really approach it the best way. He's a good guy - I usually like him, but he's young and doesn't understand.
He walked around all three pools several times having "Tommy" wave and say hi to the lifeguards. It was all joking and silly and cute. But then...Tommy went down the waterslide. Air horns blew. Whistles blew. Lifeguards came running from all directions.
Tommy was quickly rescued and given CPR.
Katie, however, has not recovered from seeing this.
She wanted to leave within the hour. I honestly didn't think anything about it because it was almost a hundred degrees and I figured she was hot and tired.
Swim lessons on Wednesday - all out screaming. Thursday - same. Friday - same.
Unfortunately, as we arrived at the school on Friday for swim lessons, the paramedics and fire trucks showed up to take out a little boy who had been injured at swim lessons.
In all, it's been a terrifying week - for Katie and Mommy. Just the thought makes me sick to my stomach. But swimming is such an important skill to me - we will work through this. Slowly - throughout the summer.
But what a bummer.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Counting My Blessings....
I suppose it's so much easier to be grateful and at peace in hindsight. In fact, from the future, everything seems so clear and so complete.
But I thank God that I am getting constant reminders of just how blessed I am and just how fortunate I am to have the family that I do.
I had a student stop by my office this week to see pictures of Hope. She is younger than I and ended up having to have a hysterectomy last semester due to problems with cysts and tumors. Now she is simply hopeful that they will one day be able to adopt.
Two of the blogs I follow lost their babies on the same day - at 16 and 18 weeks. My heart aches for them and the little ones they delivered far too soon.
I still read and keep up with many of the blogs in the Pregnancy Loss community and my heart aches for so many of them. And I wonder: how did I get so lucky? Why am I the one who was able to have not one, but two beautiful, healthy, perfect little girls? And I feel ashamed for being so upset when I only had one and couldn't successfully carry a second. I feel small and silly for complaining when I have so much more than so many others.
But I think that's why God puts the people into our life that He does. He wants us to remember and to think about our blessings and everything we've been given. And I'll tell you - even on the most exasperating and frustrating day, I force myself to remember that I begged for these children and that I adore them. And all of a sudden, nothing matters so terribly anymore. I hold a screaming child and know that it won't last forever. My four year old throws a fit and I bite my tongue because she's just so smart and wonderful.
I am blessed...beyond what I deserve...and I am so very very thankful.
But I thank God that I am getting constant reminders of just how blessed I am and just how fortunate I am to have the family that I do.
I had a student stop by my office this week to see pictures of Hope. She is younger than I and ended up having to have a hysterectomy last semester due to problems with cysts and tumors. Now she is simply hopeful that they will one day be able to adopt.
Two of the blogs I follow lost their babies on the same day - at 16 and 18 weeks. My heart aches for them and the little ones they delivered far too soon.
I still read and keep up with many of the blogs in the Pregnancy Loss community and my heart aches for so many of them. And I wonder: how did I get so lucky? Why am I the one who was able to have not one, but two beautiful, healthy, perfect little girls? And I feel ashamed for being so upset when I only had one and couldn't successfully carry a second. I feel small and silly for complaining when I have so much more than so many others.
But I think that's why God puts the people into our life that He does. He wants us to remember and to think about our blessings and everything we've been given. And I'll tell you - even on the most exasperating and frustrating day, I force myself to remember that I begged for these children and that I adore them. And all of a sudden, nothing matters so terribly anymore. I hold a screaming child and know that it won't last forever. My four year old throws a fit and I bite my tongue because she's just so smart and wonderful.
I am blessed...beyond what I deserve...and I am so very very thankful.
Friday, June 15, 2012
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
When asking too many questions becomes dangerous
Subtitle: Lying to your empathetic child.
On the way home from the store today, we passed by a car that was on fire. In the next few moments, we also passed by police and fire trucks on their way to the car.
Usual questions commence: "Why did the fire truck come? Where is the fire station? How will they put the fire out? Will they get hurt? Why are the police going? Why do they need police and firemen? How did the fire start? Do you think anyone was hurt?" And on and on.....
Five minutes later, I look in my rear-view mirror and she's crying.
"What's wrong?"
"I'm very sad for those people because now they won't have a car anymore and they won't be able to go anywhere they need to go. Maybe they can't work or get groceries or pick up their kids."
"Oh honey, they'll be fine."
"No; I'm very sad."
And now, we lie. The car was very old, beat-up, and sad looking...it was in a poorer area of town. I have a feeling there is no new car coming for this person.
But that's not what you tell your child.
"Don't worry. They're going to go out and get a brand new car. Maybe something like your new mini-van. Remember how we gave them Daddy's car because it was old and didn't run well and we got this nice new car? They'll do that, too."
"But how will they get to the new car store?"
"I'm sure the nice police man will give them a ride."
"Oh good. I hope they pick out a nice mini-van just like ours."
It was a lie for the greater good, but it still made me a little sick to my stomach to say it.
On the way home from the store today, we passed by a car that was on fire. In the next few moments, we also passed by police and fire trucks on their way to the car.
Usual questions commence: "Why did the fire truck come? Where is the fire station? How will they put the fire out? Will they get hurt? Why are the police going? Why do they need police and firemen? How did the fire start? Do you think anyone was hurt?" And on and on.....
Five minutes later, I look in my rear-view mirror and she's crying.
"What's wrong?"
"I'm very sad for those people because now they won't have a car anymore and they won't be able to go anywhere they need to go. Maybe they can't work or get groceries or pick up their kids."
"Oh honey, they'll be fine."
"No; I'm very sad."
And now, we lie. The car was very old, beat-up, and sad looking...it was in a poorer area of town. I have a feeling there is no new car coming for this person.
But that's not what you tell your child.
"Don't worry. They're going to go out and get a brand new car. Maybe something like your new mini-van. Remember how we gave them Daddy's car because it was old and didn't run well and we got this nice new car? They'll do that, too."
"But how will they get to the new car store?"
"I'm sure the nice police man will give them a ride."
"Oh good. I hope they pick out a nice mini-van just like ours."
It was a lie for the greater good, but it still made me a little sick to my stomach to say it.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Competing Lives
In good news: I've been trying really hard to be more physically active and more healthy. I've got a bike that's in working order and I'm pulling Katie around in the trailer. I take the two of them walking daily and do about five miles (walking - let's be clear). On occasion, I am even able to meet Angie and do a lap or two around her one-mile lake trail. In addition, I've been "playing" softball - yes, that's in quotes because that's what my playing amounts to...on Tuesday nights.
In all, it's been really nice to be busy and active. My body, however, is less than pleased with me. I think I have some tendonitis going in each ankle (flex ankle up or down = pain), and I know that wearing Crocs for almost the entire year has not helped my flat feet (hello arch support bandages!). I have fallen arches from dancing. I'm going to say it here in case anybody out there was ever thinking about it: if you have a daughter who likes ballet - awesome! Let them do it! If they get to the point where they can go on "pointe" shoes, please have a talk with her. Yes, they are the coolest thing in the world and you feel like an amazing ballerina. But please please please talk with her about her plans.
I never intended to really be a ballerina, but I knew I'd need to dance for musical theatre. I was "en pointe" for two years and the damage will never be undone. I have fallen arches (when you are up on toe shoes, you overextend your arches to the point that they simply can't maintain a regular arch afterwards). I know that things are more "science-y" and sophisticated than when I was in ballet, but I used to have a chunk of lamb's wool (yup - just what it sounds like) between my toes and a wooden block in the toe of my shoes. Any time you are up on these things, you will have broken toenails, broken toes, and stressed ankles - no way around it! I now have hammertoes (had to have surgery just to be able to walk without pain) and many many other deformities.
I think ballet is wonderful and toe shoes are beautiful - IF you plan to be a dancer. If not, please do not subject your body to this...I don't even know what to call it...hazard? I know they want to dance in toe shoes and I know it's cute, but really - they don't know what the long term effects are. (And, I was in no way a "serious" dancer. I had lessons twice a week for two hours (more during recital) for two years - imagine what it would do if you did this longer).
In addition, I now have two C-sections and about nine weeks of bed rest under my belt. Normally, (ok, with Katie being born in the spring), I would have bounced back pretty quickly from both because the weather would be nice and I would be doing a lot of walking and other exercise on a daily basis. But with Hope's birth in November, that was not so easy to do. I had to spend more time on my (as Katie calls it) "booty bum" and that did not help. So I'm still trying to rehab the muscles that were lazy during bed rest in addition to the lost muscles (still numb and useless) from those C-sections.
In all, I'm very proud of what I'm doing and how I'm managing everything. I just hate to be the girl who shows up at softball with new braces on her ankles and feet every week - makes me feel like a drama queen. I'm just trying to get through the day so I can do it all again tomorrow :)
In any case - off to softball. Wish us luck. We usually get slaughtered :)
In all, it's been really nice to be busy and active. My body, however, is less than pleased with me. I think I have some tendonitis going in each ankle (flex ankle up or down = pain), and I know that wearing Crocs for almost the entire year has not helped my flat feet (hello arch support bandages!). I have fallen arches from dancing. I'm going to say it here in case anybody out there was ever thinking about it: if you have a daughter who likes ballet - awesome! Let them do it! If they get to the point where they can go on "pointe" shoes, please have a talk with her. Yes, they are the coolest thing in the world and you feel like an amazing ballerina. But please please please talk with her about her plans.
I never intended to really be a ballerina, but I knew I'd need to dance for musical theatre. I was "en pointe" for two years and the damage will never be undone. I have fallen arches (when you are up on toe shoes, you overextend your arches to the point that they simply can't maintain a regular arch afterwards). I know that things are more "science-y" and sophisticated than when I was in ballet, but I used to have a chunk of lamb's wool (yup - just what it sounds like) between my toes and a wooden block in the toe of my shoes. Any time you are up on these things, you will have broken toenails, broken toes, and stressed ankles - no way around it! I now have hammertoes (had to have surgery just to be able to walk without pain) and many many other deformities.
I think ballet is wonderful and toe shoes are beautiful - IF you plan to be a dancer. If not, please do not subject your body to this...I don't even know what to call it...hazard? I know they want to dance in toe shoes and I know it's cute, but really - they don't know what the long term effects are. (And, I was in no way a "serious" dancer. I had lessons twice a week for two hours (more during recital) for two years - imagine what it would do if you did this longer).
In addition, I now have two C-sections and about nine weeks of bed rest under my belt. Normally, (ok, with Katie being born in the spring), I would have bounced back pretty quickly from both because the weather would be nice and I would be doing a lot of walking and other exercise on a daily basis. But with Hope's birth in November, that was not so easy to do. I had to spend more time on my (as Katie calls it) "booty bum" and that did not help. So I'm still trying to rehab the muscles that were lazy during bed rest in addition to the lost muscles (still numb and useless) from those C-sections.
In all, I'm very proud of what I'm doing and how I'm managing everything. I just hate to be the girl who shows up at softball with new braces on her ankles and feet every week - makes me feel like a drama queen. I'm just trying to get through the day so I can do it all again tomorrow :)
In any case - off to softball. Wish us luck. We usually get slaughtered :)
Monday, June 11, 2012
Same Conversation: Two Lives
This made me chuckle, so I thought I'd share. I just realized that I've had almost the exact same conversation with two different friends, but since one of the friends has children and the other does not, the conversation was entirely different.
Instance #1: Imagine yourself in one of the circles of hell, otherwise known as Monkey Joe's in Peoria. It's a place to let your kids run wild and insane jumping on inflatable contraptions. There's always too few workers, too many unsupervised children, and really disgusting bathrooms. But - especially in the winter - it's a godsend for those of us looking to run the kids ragged.
Friend: We should have one of these in Bloomington.
Me: I know. That would be so much nicer than having to drive all the way over here.
Friend: You know, think about the old K's Merchandise building. That would be an awesome space for it.
Instance #2: Walking around the lake chatting about random things that pop into our heads while trying not to strangle my four-year old daughter who is being a royal pain in the wazoo. My friend with furry children and I start talking food.
Me: I really wish we had a Trader Joe's...or even a Whole Foods. I mean, we're certainly yuppie enough to support them.
Friend: That would be so nice. You know, the old K's Merchandise building would be a perfect space.
So - if you're interested in franchising a business, I have options for you :) I had to laugh when I realized I'd just had the same conversation about the same space, but for two completely different reasons. Sometimes, I feel as though I live in parallel worlds :)
Instance #1: Imagine yourself in one of the circles of hell, otherwise known as Monkey Joe's in Peoria. It's a place to let your kids run wild and insane jumping on inflatable contraptions. There's always too few workers, too many unsupervised children, and really disgusting bathrooms. But - especially in the winter - it's a godsend for those of us looking to run the kids ragged.
Friend: We should have one of these in Bloomington.
Me: I know. That would be so much nicer than having to drive all the way over here.
Friend: You know, think about the old K's Merchandise building. That would be an awesome space for it.
Instance #2: Walking around the lake chatting about random things that pop into our heads while trying not to strangle my four-year old daughter who is being a royal pain in the wazoo. My friend with furry children and I start talking food.
Me: I really wish we had a Trader Joe's...or even a Whole Foods. I mean, we're certainly yuppie enough to support them.
Friend: That would be so nice. You know, the old K's Merchandise building would be a perfect space.
So - if you're interested in franchising a business, I have options for you :) I had to laugh when I realized I'd just had the same conversation about the same space, but for two completely different reasons. Sometimes, I feel as though I live in parallel worlds :)
Sunday, June 10, 2012
P.S. I Love You - yes, You!
Over the past week, I've been watching posts on Facebook and reading posts on other people's blogs and I just want to say something...
If you're having family problems and feeling stressed and in the middle of it all - I love you.
If you're stressing over your new job and taking a test - I love you.
If you're newly pregnant and scared - I love you.
If your fertility treatments did not work as you planned - I love you.
If you have a small child who is driving you up the wall - I love you.
If you are stressed out over work and family - I love you.
If you feel alone or scared or sad or frustrated - I love you.
I haven't even come close to covering all I've seen and read and I don't want to offer you any responses that are helpful but don't demonstrate your particular situation. "I'm sorry," and "That's unfair," or "It's not your fault," or any of the other number of responses I could send you seem inadequate.
So I just want you to know that I love you. For being you. For living your life and being the person and friend you are. And nothing will change that.
If you're having family problems and feeling stressed and in the middle of it all - I love you.
If you're stressing over your new job and taking a test - I love you.
If you're newly pregnant and scared - I love you.
If your fertility treatments did not work as you planned - I love you.
If you have a small child who is driving you up the wall - I love you.
If you are stressed out over work and family - I love you.
If you feel alone or scared or sad or frustrated - I love you.
I haven't even come close to covering all I've seen and read and I don't want to offer you any responses that are helpful but don't demonstrate your particular situation. "I'm sorry," and "That's unfair," or "It's not your fault," or any of the other number of responses I could send you seem inadequate.
So I just want you to know that I love you. For being you. For living your life and being the person and friend you are. And nothing will change that.
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Postscript:
Hope is trying her darndest to crawl and it is so cute I could melt. She gets herself up on her arms in (as Jan would say) cobra pose and just shakes her legs and feet in frustration. She knows she needs to move but just can't figure out how.
It's going to get really interesting really soon when she's super mobile (of course, she already manages to get wherever she wants to by scooting backwards or rolling...but something tells me she will be a super-fast crawler).
And - she has figured out how to hold her bottle. She takes it out of her mouth and puts it back in about a million times during a feeding. Ok - it makes a meal take eight times longer than it normally would, but right now it's pretty cute to watch her face as she realizes that she has control over her food.
Missing my Katie too :) It's so quiet without the 300 million questions she asks a day. Breaks are good. They help us appreciate what we have.
It's going to get really interesting really soon when she's super mobile (of course, she already manages to get wherever she wants to by scooting backwards or rolling...but something tells me she will be a super-fast crawler).
And - she has figured out how to hold her bottle. She takes it out of her mouth and puts it back in about a million times during a feeding. Ok - it makes a meal take eight times longer than it normally would, but right now it's pretty cute to watch her face as she realizes that she has control over her food.
Missing my Katie too :) It's so quiet without the 300 million questions she asks a day. Breaks are good. They help us appreciate what we have.
Not gonna lie...
I hate to always be rainbows and unicorns. Some days it's really hard and it's really stressful. I think positive is wonderful, but I feel a major obligation to also be REAL.
I will say that there is a major pro and a con to this week.
The con is that I'm trying to work with three writing classes that all started this week. Unfortunately, with an 8 week course, there is no way to stagger assignments. In other words, when one proposal comes in, they all do. When one draft comes in, so do 75 others. Ditto with final papers. That's a lot of work.
The pro, and I honestly hate to say this, is that Katie is on vacation with her Nana and Papaw until tomorrow at 5:00 (when she has to take her swim test). I forgot how lovely and boring it was to have only one child to watch...one beautiful, malleable child that will do whatever you want (and if you think I'm lying - go for two and see what you think is easier :)
I miss Katie...but it's getting very hard to do work and watch the girls. The problem is that, at my school, everything you make in the summer is "extra" - and boy do we need extra. However...well...I'm trying to be diplomatic....Daddy isn't so great at the "watching the girls on his own thing."
Case in point: I had a meeting online with a student last night at 8:30pm via Skype. Ten minutes in, Hope is screaming bloody murder. That screaming does not stop until an hour later...primarily because she was left in her swing to "cry it out." Partly because she does get pissy at night (it's partly her fault).
Brian wants me to take these classes and earn extra money, but my work hours are not 8-4. I need time outside of that to grade or respond or chat. And as much as he "says" he's ok with that, his actions never play out the same way.
So, I guess that's a long way of saying, I'm frustrated with my husband. This happens...I know. I'm hoping that tonight, Hope will go to our favorite sitter (Angie), and we can start trying to work it out. Brian is excellent at saying what will happen (go upstairs or out to work - do whatever you need to get your work done)...but having a Skype conversation with a screaming child in the background is pretty impossible.
We'll figure it out.
I wish I was on vacation...like Katie :)
I will say that there is a major pro and a con to this week.
The con is that I'm trying to work with three writing classes that all started this week. Unfortunately, with an 8 week course, there is no way to stagger assignments. In other words, when one proposal comes in, they all do. When one draft comes in, so do 75 others. Ditto with final papers. That's a lot of work.
The pro, and I honestly hate to say this, is that Katie is on vacation with her Nana and Papaw until tomorrow at 5:00 (when she has to take her swim test). I forgot how lovely and boring it was to have only one child to watch...one beautiful, malleable child that will do whatever you want (and if you think I'm lying - go for two and see what you think is easier :)
I miss Katie...but it's getting very hard to do work and watch the girls. The problem is that, at my school, everything you make in the summer is "extra" - and boy do we need extra. However...well...I'm trying to be diplomatic....Daddy isn't so great at the "watching the girls on his own thing."
Case in point: I had a meeting online with a student last night at 8:30pm via Skype. Ten minutes in, Hope is screaming bloody murder. That screaming does not stop until an hour later...primarily because she was left in her swing to "cry it out." Partly because she does get pissy at night (it's partly her fault).
Brian wants me to take these classes and earn extra money, but my work hours are not 8-4. I need time outside of that to grade or respond or chat. And as much as he "says" he's ok with that, his actions never play out the same way.
So, I guess that's a long way of saying, I'm frustrated with my husband. This happens...I know. I'm hoping that tonight, Hope will go to our favorite sitter (Angie), and we can start trying to work it out. Brian is excellent at saying what will happen (go upstairs or out to work - do whatever you need to get your work done)...but having a Skype conversation with a screaming child in the background is pretty impossible.
We'll figure it out.
I wish I was on vacation...like Katie :)
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
A perfectly lovely day!
A big congrats to my friend who just welcomed her baby girl into the world! I am so excited and thrilled for her that I can barely stand it myself :) Now I have to wait until I can meet her...which I will not do patiently.
In any case, Katie, Hope, and I went to the Sprinkler park this morning. It was very nice and just the right amount of unsupervised children. Thankfully, not annoying and not too hot. Katie had a great time and Hope loved rolling around on the ground.
In less lovely news, Hope also decided to wake up at 3am to eat. I'm going to pray this is not a new thing that we're doing - snacking in the middle of the night. That would be unpleasant. Thanks to that little wake up, we are all going to try to take a nap now - I had a very hard time getting back to sleep after that little wake up call.
In any case, Katie, Hope, and I went to the Sprinkler park this morning. It was very nice and just the right amount of unsupervised children. Thankfully, not annoying and not too hot. Katie had a great time and Hope loved rolling around on the ground.
In less lovely news, Hope also decided to wake up at 3am to eat. I'm going to pray this is not a new thing that we're doing - snacking in the middle of the night. That would be unpleasant. Thanks to that little wake up, we are all going to try to take a nap now - I had a very hard time getting back to sleep after that little wake up call.
Monday, June 4, 2012
No. I'm not.
No. Just no. I know I'm a few weeks off, but it's taken me a while to formulate my less than articulate response.While this may be the unwritten rule of a "good mother," I am going to loudly protest that it is not.
Some of us simply CANNOT breast feed. I'm not even going to get into whether we want to or not - that's a side issue. No one...and I mean, no one...can hold this up as the standard of motherhood.
When I don't get up thirty times at night to comfort the sleepless, nightmare having, vomiting, feverish, coughing, upset child...talk to me.
When I don't provide nourishing baby food, formula, or bite-sized baby foods...talk to me.
When I don't give my child safe seating in the car and at the table, when I don't provide a bed or a roof over their heads, when I don't talk to them and read to them and play with them and come up with new and creative activities for them each and every day no matter how tired or fed up I am...
Talk to me then.
You lose, Time Magazine. Mothers are not defined by breasts and breast feeding and the sensationalizing of this topic was pure money in the bank for you.
Parent Win!!!
Do you know those times when you speak to someone else who has kids (or even those who don't) and say, "Parent Fail"? You know what I'm talking about...
When the couple ignores their screaming child in the nice restaurant.
When a small child wants to touch your baby and the parent isn't paying attention or caring.
When a child sits down at your table at Chuck E. Cheese and expects to be fed because "Mommy said we could only watch the games" (yup - this weekend).
There are the lesser ones, of course, that we call upon ourselves (because, clearly we would never ever commit a major parent fail, right? :)
When you see the pre-3 teacher opening Christmas gifts that include monogrammed Thirty-One bags or Monograms made of crayons.
Parent Fail.
When your child shows up with a stained face to an event where pictures are taken.
Parent Fail.
When you forget to put down the bar on the child carrier (or, as Janelle callled it, the "bar of death") as recommended when you drive.
Parent Fail.
Putting your child in the cart in the basket part because the little one is in the only space approved for children.
Parent Fail.
In other words, Parent Fail is way easy. You can do it dozens of times in a day and not blink.
However, I call today, Parent Win.
Neither child slept much last night. I'd say six hours max. They were up at 5 and raring to go.
I had fun activities for each (reading and playing with Hope, painting, cutting, tracing for Katie). I didn't lose my temper and I didn't lose my mind. Even when they didn't nap.
PARENT WIN!!!
When the couple ignores their screaming child in the nice restaurant.
When a small child wants to touch your baby and the parent isn't paying attention or caring.
When a child sits down at your table at Chuck E. Cheese and expects to be fed because "Mommy said we could only watch the games" (yup - this weekend).
There are the lesser ones, of course, that we call upon ourselves (because, clearly we would never ever commit a major parent fail, right? :)
When you see the pre-3 teacher opening Christmas gifts that include monogrammed Thirty-One bags or Monograms made of crayons.
Parent Fail.
When your child shows up with a stained face to an event where pictures are taken.
Parent Fail.
When you forget to put down the bar on the child carrier (or, as Janelle callled it, the "bar of death") as recommended when you drive.
Parent Fail.
Putting your child in the cart in the basket part because the little one is in the only space approved for children.
Parent Fail.
In other words, Parent Fail is way easy. You can do it dozens of times in a day and not blink.
However, I call today, Parent Win.
Neither child slept much last night. I'd say six hours max. They were up at 5 and raring to go.
I had fun activities for each (reading and playing with Hope, painting, cutting, tracing for Katie). I didn't lose my temper and I didn't lose my mind. Even when they didn't nap.
PARENT WIN!!!
Sunday, June 3, 2012
And now I'm a grown up
Somehow, having kids, getting a full-time job with tenure, buying a house - none of it made me feel as adult as I do now that we have bought a mini-van.
We traded in my husband's (barely-running) '01 Grand Prix and kept my Civic (so I don't blow all of our cash on the commute) and I love it. I love that we now have room for everything; for years, the Civic has been our "travel" car - try packing everything you need and traveling for hours in that all the time. Not so fun. In addition, not bending over to get the kids in and out, automatic side doors, back-up camera...it's sweet.
The sad secret I'm hiding...I've become that woman from the commercial a few years ago. Things start to get loud and out of control at home...I wander out and find comfort and solace in my mini-van. It's quiet. It's the cleanest thing we own. It's comfortable. It's still got that nice new car smell...it's like a little vacation or "quiet space."
I always thought that was the craziest commercial. Color me completely wrong :)
We traded in my husband's (barely-running) '01 Grand Prix and kept my Civic (so I don't blow all of our cash on the commute) and I love it. I love that we now have room for everything; for years, the Civic has been our "travel" car - try packing everything you need and traveling for hours in that all the time. Not so fun. In addition, not bending over to get the kids in and out, automatic side doors, back-up camera...it's sweet.
The sad secret I'm hiding...I've become that woman from the commercial a few years ago. Things start to get loud and out of control at home...I wander out and find comfort and solace in my mini-van. It's quiet. It's the cleanest thing we own. It's comfortable. It's still got that nice new car smell...it's like a little vacation or "quiet space."
I always thought that was the craziest commercial. Color me completely wrong :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)