Life is Truly Beautiful

Lol - if I continue down this path, I may become the hopelessly optimistic blog that no one reads because it's so unrealistic.

But it's true - everything about life is really and honestly beautiful.  The hard things are what make the good things even better.

Of course, I'm speaking from the other end of a lot of "hard things," and I know how very very dark and hopeless it can feel when you are enmeshed in those hard experiences.  But I keep writing to remind myself of how truly wonderful life can be.

I have two amazing little girls who, even when I want to throttle them, are the joy of my life.  Katie may be a bit too smart for her own good and may have A LOT of attitude, but I still adore her.  She's still an amazing little kid who says things that make me laugh and love her even more.  She lives to be a good daughter and sister and she is truly amazing in so many ways.

Hope may have colic and cry and fuss, but she's here.  And really, that's all that matters.  How can I complain about hours of crying where I have no idea what to do to calm her down?  In the long run, it really isn't that important.

My doctor, at one point, said that it's amazing that God sends us our children in a certain order for a reason.  I am slowly starting to realize that she is REALLY right.  I mean, if I had had Hope and the colic and fussy eating and erratic behavior first, I would not have had the patience and love that I have now.  I wanted this baby so much and worked so hard for her that even on the hardest days, I step back and smile.  My patience has increased as I never imagined it would.

Likewise with Katie.  She was early and didn't know how to eat and couldn't sleep.  She taught me the patience that is serving me so well now.  I honestly didn't realize what a big girl she was until we brought Hope home, but we've raised an amazing young lady.  She's smart, articulate, and loving.  Even when she acts like a teenager in the middle of a hormonal tantrum, she's one of the best things I've ever done.

My husband and I watch and care for these two beautiful girls every day and I stop to remind myself just how blessed I truly am.  I prayed for two healthy babies and I was so lucky to get them.  While I may be so tired I could simply collapse on my feet, and while many of my students think I'm on some substance because I'm so tired it's hard to form sentences many days, I would never EVER change a single thing.  My girls are a gift from God to my husband and I, and we remind ourselves of that as often as we can.

In the meantime, a big hug from Katie and a gummy smile from Hope are all I need in my day.  I'm happy to say that I have finally been able to begin to balance life and work (and a smattering of "friends" thrown in), and life generally looks good.  The sun is shining (and it's freakin' hot and humid), the grass and trees are green (and filling my sinuses with crap), and we are all healthy.  Being at a baby shower today and watching all the small clothes and little items reminds me of how far we have come in four years and how absolutely positively lucky and blessed we are to have this.  I can't express the sentiment in words because there really are no words.  God gave us what we asked for, and I will always be truly and amazingly grateful.

So stop - on your drive to work (some of us have a longer one than others - my 40 minute commute gives me ample time) and count your blessings or really look at the world around you.  Even after six years, I still notice new things on my commute and still find beauty where I hadn't seen it before.  Beauty is all around us if we stop to take notice.