Over the past week, I've been watching posts on Facebook and reading posts on other people's blogs and I just want to say something...
If you're having family problems and feeling stressed and in the middle of it all - I love you.
If you're stressing over your new job and taking a test - I love you.
If you're newly pregnant and scared - I love you.
If your fertility treatments did not work as you planned - I love you.
If you have a small child who is driving you up the wall - I love you.
If you are stressed out over work and family - I love you.
If you feel alone or scared or sad or frustrated - I love you.
I haven't even come close to covering all I've seen and read and I don't want to offer you any responses that are helpful but don't demonstrate your particular situation. "I'm sorry," and "That's unfair," or "It's not your fault," or any of the other number of responses I could send you seem inadequate.
So I just want you to know that I love you. For being you. For living your life and being the person and friend you are. And nothing will change that.
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Postscript:
Hope is trying her darndest to crawl and it is so cute I could melt. She gets herself up on her arms in (as Jan would say) cobra pose and just shakes her legs and feet in frustration. She knows she needs to move but just can't figure out how.
It's going to get really interesting really soon when she's super mobile (of course, she already manages to get wherever she wants to by scooting backwards or rolling...but something tells me she will be a super-fast crawler).
And - she has figured out how to hold her bottle. She takes it out of her mouth and puts it back in about a million times during a feeding. Ok - it makes a meal take eight times longer than it normally would, but right now it's pretty cute to watch her face as she realizes that she has control over her food.
Missing my Katie too :) It's so quiet without the 300 million questions she asks a day. Breaks are good. They help us appreciate what we have.
It's going to get really interesting really soon when she's super mobile (of course, she already manages to get wherever she wants to by scooting backwards or rolling...but something tells me she will be a super-fast crawler).
And - she has figured out how to hold her bottle. She takes it out of her mouth and puts it back in about a million times during a feeding. Ok - it makes a meal take eight times longer than it normally would, but right now it's pretty cute to watch her face as she realizes that she has control over her food.
Missing my Katie too :) It's so quiet without the 300 million questions she asks a day. Breaks are good. They help us appreciate what we have.
Not gonna lie...
I hate to always be rainbows and unicorns. Some days it's really hard and it's really stressful. I think positive is wonderful, but I feel a major obligation to also be REAL.
I will say that there is a major pro and a con to this week.
The con is that I'm trying to work with three writing classes that all started this week. Unfortunately, with an 8 week course, there is no way to stagger assignments. In other words, when one proposal comes in, they all do. When one draft comes in, so do 75 others. Ditto with final papers. That's a lot of work.
The pro, and I honestly hate to say this, is that Katie is on vacation with her Nana and Papaw until tomorrow at 5:00 (when she has to take her swim test). I forgot how lovely and boring it was to have only one child to watch...one beautiful, malleable child that will do whatever you want (and if you think I'm lying - go for two and see what you think is easier :)
I miss Katie...but it's getting very hard to do work and watch the girls. The problem is that, at my school, everything you make in the summer is "extra" - and boy do we need extra. However...well...I'm trying to be diplomatic....Daddy isn't so great at the "watching the girls on his own thing."
Case in point: I had a meeting online with a student last night at 8:30pm via Skype. Ten minutes in, Hope is screaming bloody murder. That screaming does not stop until an hour later...primarily because she was left in her swing to "cry it out." Partly because she does get pissy at night (it's partly her fault).
Brian wants me to take these classes and earn extra money, but my work hours are not 8-4. I need time outside of that to grade or respond or chat. And as much as he "says" he's ok with that, his actions never play out the same way.
So, I guess that's a long way of saying, I'm frustrated with my husband. This happens...I know. I'm hoping that tonight, Hope will go to our favorite sitter (Angie), and we can start trying to work it out. Brian is excellent at saying what will happen (go upstairs or out to work - do whatever you need to get your work done)...but having a Skype conversation with a screaming child in the background is pretty impossible.
We'll figure it out.
I wish I was on vacation...like Katie :)
I will say that there is a major pro and a con to this week.
The con is that I'm trying to work with three writing classes that all started this week. Unfortunately, with an 8 week course, there is no way to stagger assignments. In other words, when one proposal comes in, they all do. When one draft comes in, so do 75 others. Ditto with final papers. That's a lot of work.
The pro, and I honestly hate to say this, is that Katie is on vacation with her Nana and Papaw until tomorrow at 5:00 (when she has to take her swim test). I forgot how lovely and boring it was to have only one child to watch...one beautiful, malleable child that will do whatever you want (and if you think I'm lying - go for two and see what you think is easier :)
I miss Katie...but it's getting very hard to do work and watch the girls. The problem is that, at my school, everything you make in the summer is "extra" - and boy do we need extra. However...well...I'm trying to be diplomatic....Daddy isn't so great at the "watching the girls on his own thing."
Case in point: I had a meeting online with a student last night at 8:30pm via Skype. Ten minutes in, Hope is screaming bloody murder. That screaming does not stop until an hour later...primarily because she was left in her swing to "cry it out." Partly because she does get pissy at night (it's partly her fault).
Brian wants me to take these classes and earn extra money, but my work hours are not 8-4. I need time outside of that to grade or respond or chat. And as much as he "says" he's ok with that, his actions never play out the same way.
So, I guess that's a long way of saying, I'm frustrated with my husband. This happens...I know. I'm hoping that tonight, Hope will go to our favorite sitter (Angie), and we can start trying to work it out. Brian is excellent at saying what will happen (go upstairs or out to work - do whatever you need to get your work done)...but having a Skype conversation with a screaming child in the background is pretty impossible.
We'll figure it out.
I wish I was on vacation...like Katie :)
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
A perfectly lovely day!
A big congrats to my friend who just welcomed her baby girl into the world! I am so excited and thrilled for her that I can barely stand it myself :) Now I have to wait until I can meet her...which I will not do patiently.
In any case, Katie, Hope, and I went to the Sprinkler park this morning. It was very nice and just the right amount of unsupervised children. Thankfully, not annoying and not too hot. Katie had a great time and Hope loved rolling around on the ground.
In less lovely news, Hope also decided to wake up at 3am to eat. I'm going to pray this is not a new thing that we're doing - snacking in the middle of the night. That would be unpleasant. Thanks to that little wake up, we are all going to try to take a nap now - I had a very hard time getting back to sleep after that little wake up call.
In any case, Katie, Hope, and I went to the Sprinkler park this morning. It was very nice and just the right amount of unsupervised children. Thankfully, not annoying and not too hot. Katie had a great time and Hope loved rolling around on the ground.
In less lovely news, Hope also decided to wake up at 3am to eat. I'm going to pray this is not a new thing that we're doing - snacking in the middle of the night. That would be unpleasant. Thanks to that little wake up, we are all going to try to take a nap now - I had a very hard time getting back to sleep after that little wake up call.
Monday, June 4, 2012
No. I'm not.
No. Just no. I know I'm a few weeks off, but it's taken me a while to formulate my less than articulate response.While this may be the unwritten rule of a "good mother," I am going to loudly protest that it is not.
Some of us simply CANNOT breast feed. I'm not even going to get into whether we want to or not - that's a side issue. No one...and I mean, no one...can hold this up as the standard of motherhood.
When I don't get up thirty times at night to comfort the sleepless, nightmare having, vomiting, feverish, coughing, upset child...talk to me.
When I don't provide nourishing baby food, formula, or bite-sized baby foods...talk to me.
When I don't give my child safe seating in the car and at the table, when I don't provide a bed or a roof over their heads, when I don't talk to them and read to them and play with them and come up with new and creative activities for them each and every day no matter how tired or fed up I am...
Talk to me then.
You lose, Time Magazine. Mothers are not defined by breasts and breast feeding and the sensationalizing of this topic was pure money in the bank for you.
Parent Win!!!
Do you know those times when you speak to someone else who has kids (or even those who don't) and say, "Parent Fail"? You know what I'm talking about...
When the couple ignores their screaming child in the nice restaurant.
When a small child wants to touch your baby and the parent isn't paying attention or caring.
When a child sits down at your table at Chuck E. Cheese and expects to be fed because "Mommy said we could only watch the games" (yup - this weekend).
There are the lesser ones, of course, that we call upon ourselves (because, clearly we would never ever commit a major parent fail, right? :)
When you see the pre-3 teacher opening Christmas gifts that include monogrammed Thirty-One bags or Monograms made of crayons.
Parent Fail.
When your child shows up with a stained face to an event where pictures are taken.
Parent Fail.
When you forget to put down the bar on the child carrier (or, as Janelle callled it, the "bar of death") as recommended when you drive.
Parent Fail.
Putting your child in the cart in the basket part because the little one is in the only space approved for children.
Parent Fail.
In other words, Parent Fail is way easy. You can do it dozens of times in a day and not blink.
However, I call today, Parent Win.
Neither child slept much last night. I'd say six hours max. They were up at 5 and raring to go.
I had fun activities for each (reading and playing with Hope, painting, cutting, tracing for Katie). I didn't lose my temper and I didn't lose my mind. Even when they didn't nap.
PARENT WIN!!!
When the couple ignores their screaming child in the nice restaurant.
When a small child wants to touch your baby and the parent isn't paying attention or caring.
When a child sits down at your table at Chuck E. Cheese and expects to be fed because "Mommy said we could only watch the games" (yup - this weekend).
There are the lesser ones, of course, that we call upon ourselves (because, clearly we would never ever commit a major parent fail, right? :)
When you see the pre-3 teacher opening Christmas gifts that include monogrammed Thirty-One bags or Monograms made of crayons.
Parent Fail.
When your child shows up with a stained face to an event where pictures are taken.
Parent Fail.
When you forget to put down the bar on the child carrier (or, as Janelle callled it, the "bar of death") as recommended when you drive.
Parent Fail.
Putting your child in the cart in the basket part because the little one is in the only space approved for children.
Parent Fail.
In other words, Parent Fail is way easy. You can do it dozens of times in a day and not blink.
However, I call today, Parent Win.
Neither child slept much last night. I'd say six hours max. They were up at 5 and raring to go.
I had fun activities for each (reading and playing with Hope, painting, cutting, tracing for Katie). I didn't lose my temper and I didn't lose my mind. Even when they didn't nap.
PARENT WIN!!!
Sunday, June 3, 2012
And now I'm a grown up
Somehow, having kids, getting a full-time job with tenure, buying a house - none of it made me feel as adult as I do now that we have bought a mini-van.
We traded in my husband's (barely-running) '01 Grand Prix and kept my Civic (so I don't blow all of our cash on the commute) and I love it. I love that we now have room for everything; for years, the Civic has been our "travel" car - try packing everything you need and traveling for hours in that all the time. Not so fun. In addition, not bending over to get the kids in and out, automatic side doors, back-up camera...it's sweet.
The sad secret I'm hiding...I've become that woman from the commercial a few years ago. Things start to get loud and out of control at home...I wander out and find comfort and solace in my mini-van. It's quiet. It's the cleanest thing we own. It's comfortable. It's still got that nice new car smell...it's like a little vacation or "quiet space."
I always thought that was the craziest commercial. Color me completely wrong :)
We traded in my husband's (barely-running) '01 Grand Prix and kept my Civic (so I don't blow all of our cash on the commute) and I love it. I love that we now have room for everything; for years, the Civic has been our "travel" car - try packing everything you need and traveling for hours in that all the time. Not so fun. In addition, not bending over to get the kids in and out, automatic side doors, back-up camera...it's sweet.
The sad secret I'm hiding...I've become that woman from the commercial a few years ago. Things start to get loud and out of control at home...I wander out and find comfort and solace in my mini-van. It's quiet. It's the cleanest thing we own. It's comfortable. It's still got that nice new car smell...it's like a little vacation or "quiet space."
I always thought that was the craziest commercial. Color me completely wrong :)
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